An Accident Waiting to Happen
by olgreeneyes
Summary: It's the Marauders' 7th year and they have some devilish plans all mapped out, with one Miss Lily Evans getting caught in the middle.  This whole thing is an accident waiting to happen.
1. Chapter 1

- Chapter One -

"OUCH!"

A girl with long red hair lay on the floor amidst an overturned trolley, upside-down owl cage and a trunk that had burst open revealing an assortment of robes, jeans and undergarmets. The girl was on her side, clutching her stomach, which had taken most of the impact from the trolley hitting the wall.

"Well I won't say 'I told you so,' but I will remind you that I did say we were here too early," said an older man with a small patch of brown hair on top of a slightly egg-shaped head, helping the girl to her feet with a bemused expression on his face. "Are you alright, Lily?"

"Fine," she gasped, coughing. "I've had worse, Dad." She looked around at her belongings scattered across the train station floor. "Oh no!" Lily scrambled to hide her pink polka-dotted underwear as her father righted her owl's cage. A little further away, her mother was pulling down a set of robes which had somehow gotten stuck on a light fixture hanging from the ceiling. Suddenly a shadow fell across Lily's utstretched hand.

"Wow, that must be really embarassing, Evans."

Lily turned to see a short American girl with blonde hair and green eyes observing her. She screamed.

"Amber Paulson! Where is your hair?" she exclaimed, embrasing the other girl.

"Gone!" said Amber happily. "My little brother got a wad of gum stuck in it during the first week of break, which was before I turned 17. So I had to get it out the muggle way. Best decision of my life!" Lily laughed.

"Well it looks amazing! How did you get it so straight, though?" she asked, grabing a lock for examination that fell just past Amber's chin.

"It's a charm I found, I'll show it to you later. No more Frizzy McFrizzster for me!" Amber said jovially. "Now if you'll excuse my French, what the hell happened here?" She gestured to the mess surrounding Lily, who rolled her eyes in frustration.

"The platform's broken or something! I was taking it at a run but it was solid and my stuff just went flying everywhere," she explained.

"Oh, that happened to me my second year," said Amber. "Now I know: it doesn't open until 10:30. What are you doing here so early anyway?" Lily pointed to the badge pinned to her t-shirt.

"Head Girl," she said proudly. "I figured I should get here early to set a good example."

"Set a good example for who? You're two hours early! I don't even think the train is here yet; no one's here, Evans."

"You're here," pointed out Lily.

"That's just because I bummed a ride off my Dad and he had to be at work in the city at nine anyway," said Amber.

"Oh," said Lily. There was a moment of silence. "Well in that case, I guess I'll just hang out with you until the train arrives. Unless you don't want me to?"

"No, that'll be great!" said Amber enthusiastically. "I can tell you all about my adventures with the boys of Espana!" Lily giggled and called to her parents, who had just finished repacking her trunk.

"Mum, Dad, this is Amber Paulson. She's in Gryffindor with me." There were handshakes and murmurs of 'hello' all around. "So apparently the platform won't even open for another hour and a half." Her father gave a snort of laughter. Lily continued, "Why don't you guys go home and I'll stay here with Amber? It's not fair to make you wait." It seemed reasonable and her parents nodded their agreement.

"We're going to miss you so much, darling!" said Lily's mother, giving her a big hug. "Have a wonderful last year at Hogwarts! Make sure you write often!"

"I will!" she said. "I love you!

"Bye, Pumpkin," said her father, stooping to also give her a hug. "Don't be too hard on those boys," he whispered in her ear.

"I won't, Daddy," she whispered back. They released and with final goodbyes and smiles, they were gone. Lily turned to Amber. "So," she said, "tell me about Spain!"

The room was completely silent and still. A tiny sliver of light poked through a gap in the heavy red curtains, revealing a messy chest of drawers across the room. It was topped with a few sweet wrappers, an old issue of "Which Broomstick?" and an open box of condoms.

Suddenly, the silence was broken by a shrill alarm clock ringing loud enough to wake the entire block; but still, there was no movement in the room. Five minutes later, someone was heard rousing in the room next to this, cursing and placing their feet on the floor. They were heard walking to the door, wrenching it open, going down the hall, and arriving at the door to the room containing the source of the cacophany. With a bang, it was thrust open, showing James Potter wearing only a t-shirt and boxers.

"SIRIUS ORION BLACK!" he bellowed. "TURN OFF THAT BLOODY ALARM CLOCK!" Still, there was not movement. "HEY!" He grabbed a lamp from a nearby table and threw it bodily at the lump covered in blankets in the middle of the bed. "WAKE UP PADFOOT, YOU GREAT LUMP!" A small grunt proved the lamp found its target. An arm appeared from amidst the mass of blankets to show James a certain finger before retreating back into the warmth of the quilts and sheets.

"Why you little..." James jumped on top of the Sirius and started hitting him. Sirius finally woke up to fight him back and the two boys punched and wrestled until they rolled off the bed. The resounding crash from the fall awoke the other inhabitants of the house.

"BOYS!" screamed James' mother, appearing in the doorway. She waved her wand and with a crack they sprang apart. With another wave, the offending alarm clock was finally silenced. "That's better. Now get dressed. Breakfast is on the table." She walked away muttering to herself about the two teenagers.

James and Sirius looked at each other, their faces mirrors of one another.

"Race you to the kitchen, Prongs?" Sirius asked.

"You read my mind, Padfoot," James replied. "Readysetgo!" And he was off like a lightening bolt, leaving Sirius to struggle to his feet through his tangle of sheets.

James ran through the generations-old mansion he knew so well, almost flying through secret passageways to the kitchen. He was focused so hard on running that he didn't even see the big, black bear-like dog come up from behind to pass him until it was over.

"Hey! No far animagi!" he yelled after the dog. With a sigh, he transformed into his animagi form, a magnificent stag. With four long legs and his inborn gift of flight, James outstripped his friend. However, on the last (and very sharp) turn to the kitchen, he slipped on the newly polished hardwood floors, his hooves flailing uselessly.

With a crash, James fell onto his side and smashed into a small table set up in the hall, reducing it to splinters. He lay for a moment, his sides heaving, feeling the pain race through him. Just as he stood unsteadily up, Sirius came racing around the corner, also loosing his balance. His paws scrabbled futily on the floor before he flew to where James was now standing wide-eyed and unable to move.

The impact of the large, bear-like dog hitting his four thin legs caused James to collapse once more, this time on Sirius. The dog yelped in pain and was slammed against the wall, where a large, ornate mirror swayed ominously before crashing down on the two struggling animals.

With thae final crash, James' mother called, "What's going on, boys?" The two quickly transformed back into their human forms just in time for her to walk in and see James laying half on top of Sirius, both boys still in only boxers and t-shirts. Shards of glass from the mirror and chunks of wood from the table littered the hallway floor as well as blood from the boys' many cuts and bruises.

"Boys," she said tiredly. "How many timed have I told you not to run in the house?"

"Sorry Mrs. P," said Sirius, trying to get up. "Won't happed again."

"Of course it won't," she said. "Just like you two said last time and the time before that and the time before that..."

"But this time we mean it, Mum!" said James, also struggling delicatly to his feet. He seemed to have a few fractured ribs. "This is our last meal at home before our last year of Hogwarts! Who knows when we'll have the oppertunity to race through the house again?"

"Yeah, you should enjoy this while you can, Mrs. P," Sirius chimed in. "Next time you see us we could be responsible adults."

"I doubt the two of you will ever be responsible," she said with a snort, surveying the damage the two 17-year olds had just done. "Come on, breakfast is on the table." As soon as her back was turned, James and Sirius collapsed in the armchairs opposite where the table and mirror had once stood.

"Shit, Prongs! Look what those damn antlers of yours did to my back!" Sirius whined, motioning to his blood-soaked t-shirt.

"My antlers?!" James repeated. "What about those bloody teeth of yours? You bit my wrist!"

"I did not bite your wrist!"

"You bloody well did! Look, it's broken!"

"Well maybe it was like that before."

"What?"

"Maybe it's from when your clumsy ass broke the table."

"There are teeth marks!"

"I still say it was the table."

"Tables don't have teeth, Padfoot!"

"How do you know? They have legs."

James groaned. "Whatever. Let's just get this cleaned up." He motioned to the mess.

With swishes of their wands, the mirror and the table repaired themselves and James and Sirius, mutterine spells and charms, repaired their injuries.

"BOYS! THE PANCAKES ARE GETTING COLD!" James' mother called again from the kitchen. James and Sirius looked at one another, grinning. As they stood up, Sirius pushed James back into his chair and took off in the direction of the kitchen.

"OH NO YOU DON'T, YOU GREAT FLEA-INFESTED..."

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A/N: Hi. So that's Chapter One, I hope you enjoyed it. I keep getting these great ideas for this story, it's going to be really funny and full of cool things, I assure you. Music, dance, food... you name it, I might just add it if you ask nicely... hee hee hee. Anyway, reviews are always appreciated, so thanks! The next chapter should be up soon!


	2. Chapter 2

- Chapter Two -

By the time James and Sirius finally ate, showered and dressed (the house suffered two broken windows, a cracked wall and an unhinged door during this time), they were running late for King's Cross Station.

"Come on, Pads!" James called, dragging his heavy trunk behind him down the stairs. "We don't want to miss the train! And it leaves in... 3 MINUTES?!" he exclaimed after checking his watch.

"Alright, alright, I'm here, don't get your panties in a bundle," Sirius grumbled, also dragging his trunk behind him down the stairs. "Just because you want to see your girlfriend doesn't mean I--"

"And what exactly are we supposed to do if we miss the train?" James argued. "Fly to school on that motorbike you're keeping in the garden shed? Don't lie, I saw it back there!" Sirius opened his mouth to argue back, but was cut off by Mrs. Potter.

"I don't mean to cut in, boys, but now you only have two minutes to get onto the train and it's all the way in London," she reminded them patiently. James swore.

"Sorry Mrs. P," Sirius apologized for his friend. "Some people don't even know that it's rude to swear around a lady."

James yelled in frustration, grabbed Sirius' arm and called, "Bye Mum! See you at Christmas!" before aparating away to Platform 9 3/4.

They arrived just as the train started pulling out of the station. James repeated the swear word he had used earlier and ran after it, still dragging his trunk, Sirius and Sirius' trunk behind him and trying to navogate the groups of parents waving happily at their children. But he wasn't the best chaser in the school for nothing.

"WORMTAIL!" he yelled, finally releasing Sirius, who had also begun running now and carrying his heavy trunk like a briefcase. "MOONY!" His friends' faces popped out the window of the second to last compartment, the one they'd had ever since first year. Now others' heads poked out of the windows and were watching the two infamous seventh years sprinting to keep up with the train. "HELP ME OUT HERE!"

The two friends obliged and after disappearing for a moment before reappearing in the now-open door.

"Come on, Prongs!" called Wormtail. "Give me your trunk!" James swung it at the boy, knocking him off his feet and out of view. Moony now offered his and to help him up and with a final spurt of speed and a flying leap, he was aboard.

Sirius, on the other hand, was another matter. It wasn't that he was out of shape or fat. It was just that during the summer while James was working out to stay in shape for quidditch, he had sat and eaten Little Debbies snack cakes, loudly mocking his friend. So running was not his forte.

James, seeing that the end of the platform was drawing dangerously close, decided to step into action.

"GRAB MY WAIST, MOONY!" he yelled.

"Grab your... what?" Moony asked.

"MY WAIST, MOONY! MY WAIST!"

"No way! I'm not a chick!" he protested.

"JUST DO IT!" James called aggrivatedly and leaned dangerously forward. Moony, finally seeing what his friend was doing, haistily did as he was told and held his... waist. "COME ON, PADFOOT! JUMP!" he screamed.

Sirius lunged forward on the last 5 feet of the platform, but his jump was short, due to the heavy trunk weighing him down. Nevertheless, James leaned forward even more and caught the back of his friends' shirt, falling out the open door as he did so. Luckily, Moony grabbed his wrist and held from falling down the 40 foot drop below. Unluckily, Moony's shoes were new and slick on the bottom and he began sliding forward as well.

"NOOO!" he yelled as he, too, fell out the door. At the last moment, Wormtail appeared and grabbed onto his ankle.

"I... can't... hold..." he muttered. At this moment, a tall, lanky boy with brown hair and a short girl with short blond hair walked by and were met by an interesting sight. Scrawny little Peter Pettigrew was holding onto Remus Lupin's hand while bracing himself with his legs against the door frame.

Meanwhile, Remus was hanging out of the train, dangling by the one hand, the other clutched tightly onto James Potter's wrist, who was in turn holding onto the collar of Sirius Black's robes. Sirius struggled to not slip out of his shirt and not to drop his trunk, which was now only still with him because it had gotten caught on his left shoelace. The boy and girl watched in horror for a moment before quickly rushing forward to help Wormtail pull the three other boys in. All four boys collapsed in a heap, breathing heavily.

"Th-thanks Frank, Amber," said James shakily.

"No problem, mate," said Frank, patting James on the back. "You alright?"

"Yeah, I think I'll survive," James said. "Padfoot on the other hand..."

"What? I... what?" said Sirius in between huffs of air, still a little out of it. James clapped him on the back and stood up.

"I'm going to go get you some chocolate," he said. "You too, Wormy and Moony." When he turned, he finally noticed the crowd assembled in the corridor, watching the group gasp for breath on the floor. "Well go on!" he said commandingly. "Break it up, move along, back to your compartments! Nothing to see here!" They did so, muttering to one another about the imfamous Marauders and whether this was some sort of prank. Amongst them was Lily Evans.

"POTTER!"

James spun around quickly to see Lily marching to him, the look of death on her face and murder in her eyes.

"Yes my Lilyflower, object of my affections?" he said in a drawling voice.

"What the HELL was that stunt?" she said, glaring him right in the eye, even with their 7" height difference. "You could have killed not only yourself, but Remus, Sirius, Peter, Frank AND Amber too!" James raised his eyebrows.

"My dearest Tiger Lily, I didn't know you cared," he said regally. Lily screamed in frustration.

"You see? This is why I hate you! This is why you are the most impossible person in the entire school and this is why I would rather have a flobberworm smoothie for breakfast every morning than go out with you!" she ranted, turned on her heel (being sure to whip James in the face with her long red hair), and marched away. James, who was taken aback by this tirade, stood stock-still, digesting what she had just said.

"She hates me?"

Lily sat, smoldering with anger, in a compartment by herself. No one would so much as glance inside, for fear of the read-head's death-glare. But one perky American wasn't afraid.

"There you are, Evans!" Amber said cheerfully. "Has the food trolley witch come by yet? I'm starved."

"Amber!" Lily chastised. "Do you mind? I'm trying to..." she paused, trying to describe herself, "fume!" Amber stared at her for a moment before bursting out with laughter.

"Fume?" she choked out between giggles. "Come on Evans!"

"What?" asked Lily, forgetting to fume for a moment. "Fume! You know, sit in anger or whatever."

"Yes, but who says that? 'Excuse me, but I'm trying to fume here! Do you mind?'" Amber said in her best imitation of Lily's annoyed tone. Lily just huffed and turned her back on her friend. "Oh, Evans, I'm sorry!" Amber apologized. "I'm not being a very good friend right now. What are you" she suppressed a giggle "fuming over?"

Lily considered her for a moment.

"Potter." It was all she needed to say.

"Evans, why do you care so much about what he does?" Amber asked with a sigh. "I understand that you hate him and all, but can't you just ignore him? What do you care what he does?"

"I don't care!" Lily almost yelled defensively. "I just don't want him ruining my seventh year."

"Then don't let him," Amber advised sagely. "You have so many things going for you right now. Top of the class... Head Girl..." Lily swore.

"Oh no!" she yelped. "I was supposed to meet in the prefect carriage 10 minutes ago!" She was already out the door and running down the corridor though and Amber was left alone.

"Ah, alone!" she sighed and, assuring that the compartment door was closed, let her cat Peter Frampton of his basket. He jumped lightly and landed on the seat near her where he sat, his green eyes watching as Amber struggled to pull a portable record player from her trunk. Finally, it was done and she selected an album that looked like a fly-zipper from a pair of blue jeans and music filled the otherwise silent compartment. She lay down across the seats while Peter Frampton (who only answered to his full name) picked his way to her head and started biting her arm until finally, she began to pet him.

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A/N: So that's chapter 2... yeah. Read, review, you know the drill. bonus points and a shout-out if you can name the album and the band that Amber was listening to. And the year it was released. And your favorite song from it! Next chapter up soon! And I like it when people say things they want to show up in later chapters.


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